This weekend, I had my first experience with the Vancouver Pride Festival. I was directly involved in events through volunteering, as well as participating in the parade as a first time march entry with the Van Poly group. It was heartening to see such a diverse and accommodating group of people celebrating themselves, their friends, and their personal rights and freedoms.
Pride is also a time for us to really understand that while we may have the opportunity to live comfortable lives as LGBTQ people, our sister communities worldwide are still fighting-sometimes to the death-for the very same rights we may take for granted.
Homosexuality is still punishable by death in 8 countries. This a mind-blowing figure. Just think: any of the queer people in your life that you know and love could be PUT TO DEATH simply for being out about who they ARE. Remember: homosexuality is not a CHOICE.
This leads me to the subject of my article: The social responsibility of being ?out?.
On Pride weekend, I had the great fortune to attend and speak briefly at the Salaam Canada conference ?Inshirah ? An Expansion of the Heart: Building for Tomorrow?. This was a queer Muslim conference discussing a variety of topics (including polyamory and polygamy laws). I caught the end of the discussion ?Family of Origin/Chosen Family: the special struggles of Queer / Muslim Youth?, in which panelists discussed their own family?s reactions to them coming out, as well as Islamic culture as a whole in regards to homosexuality and how it affects families.
- One of the speakers brought up how for most Muslim families, the hostility towards their child coming out to them has less to do with the fact that their child is gay and more to do with how it will affect the family socially and economically.
- Another speaker mentioned how he knew one Muslim youth who had attempted suicide 8 times because he was so terrified to come out to his parents.
- Another speaker pointed out that, statistically, the conference should have been attended by around 500 queer Muslims in Vancouver, but the room he was speaking to had less than 30 people in it. This was a major reflection of attitudes in the Islamic community towards homosexuality and ?being out.?
- They then spoke about privilege, and how even in such a marginalized group as the LGBTQ community, one can forget where they may have it easier than others within that group.
After leaving the conference, I spent a long time thinking about my life and my privileges. I am white, female and could pass as straight. I come from a very estranged family. I have been living independently of my parents since I was 15 years old, and have little contact with the older adults in my family. Some may view this as a disadvantage, and it has been in certain aspects of my life. 
I have a ?chosen family?. The people who I am close to and consider my family have come to me out of choice and I keep them in my life out of choice. My chosen family is made up of friends, family of friends, ex-lovers and their families, former teachers, former social workers, former employers, etc. It has taken me a long time, but by meeting many others in the LGBTQ community and hearing their stories, I feel very advantaged to be surrounded by a chosen family who accept me, and have always accepted me, the way I am. I have never had to be hesitant about speaking my mind or being open about who I am.
Alan Turing 1912-1954
Many LGBTQ youth, as well as adults, fear rejection from their families and peers so badly that they would rather end their lives than come out to their families. This tragic reality makes me feel like there must be some sort of social responsibility for those of us who can be out.
A speaker at the Salaam conference brought up the Gandhi quote ?Be the change you would like to see in the world?. To me, this means living the life that you can live, treating others with kindness, respect and tolerance. It means being supportive of others who aren?t quite there yet and treating them like they are on the path. Everyone has the opportunity to be a positive role model in the lives of others by being true to themselves. 
This is because many who struggled with coming out feel impatience towards those who have yet to, or may feel insulted by those who have not prioritized being as honest with themselves and others as they have. It can cause a lot of hurt to be involved romantically with someone who is not yet able or willing to be out when the other person is. Still, in order to facilitate an environment where one feels comfortable coming out, we must be forgiving towards those who have yet to gather the courage to be out and proud.
Source: http://www.straightuplove.com/being-out/
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